"fall in love with someone who loves the way you laugh and would do just about anything to hear it. fall in love with someone who puts their head on your chest just to hear your heart beat…fall in love with someone who thinks you’re the one they would love to wake up to each day." -found on Facebook, September 16, 2014
"I have all this gold in my soul, honey. I don’t need a penny to love you, baby. I have all the kisses you gave me to be whole." -Julie C., "Rich Girl"
All this lovey-dovey, fairy tale bullshit serves is the retail industries of Hollywood, Hallmark, and the next YouTube sensation. Look, I’ve been chasing the dream since I had the misfortune coming to this earth.
Such love doesn’t exist. It’s an empty world we live in, growing emptier and more commercial by the day. Love used to be the domain of the beautiful people, but I don’t think even they know of it anymore — not with Instagram to make our every voyeuristic, third-person narrative come true. We can listen weepy-eyed to every touching love song known to mankind, but we will die unloved and alone.
In my life, nobody’s had the guts to stand up to me and demand my love, fight for my love, stay for my love. Because my love can easily be supplanted by 5,000 other warm bodies with perkier tits and tighter yoga pants-wearing asses.
We see what we want to see. Our attention spans are shorter. The Narcissism training has been ingrained in our subconscious since the day we picked up a cell phone with all the tricked-out apps. Facebook completes the idealized projection.
There is no such thing as true love, kids. Wake the fuck up, and settle for a decent person who cares enough to stay through the tough times and laughs at the same jokes, five times out of eight.
It hurts me to write this, still. Because I want so badly to believe he exists. I looked and I looked. Maybe I looked through unattractive, unattracted eyes.
I will leave this earth always wondering if he was even real or a figment of Hollywood’s imagination, imprinted on an impressionable, stupid little Korean immigrant girl.